Survival Without the Internet

I lost my internet connection today. When I got out of bed and went to the computer, I couldn’t connect to anything. Here follows a log I wrote to keep my sanity while cut off from the world.

Hour 1 without Internet

I feel vaguely lost, is if a part of me is gone. I can’t check Facebook. I can’t go on Etsy. I can’t even watch Netflix! The latter realisation hit me hard. That was my backup plan. I suppose I’ll have to resort to… dee-vee-dees. I vaguely remember the concept of these things. We’ll see if I can figure out how to use them.

My boyfriend is almost as confused as I am. He told me the oven doesn’t require the internet, so he can still cook something. I remain unconvinced.

Addendum: I can’t even check my ***** email!!!!!

Hour 2 without Internet

I have put my laptop to sleep, finally. I kept it on, just in case, but I fear the Internet will take its time coming back to me. Oh, Internet. Why did I not appreciate you more when I had access?

The boyfriend is trying to make the home network come to life, so we can watch videos from his computer on the TV. The desperation in his voice is clear. Something must stream! Unfortunately his computer is laughing at us both and refusing to transmit the right files. I feel like all technology has turned against us. It makes me fearful.

Addendum: The oven is spreading smoke all over the kitchen. I told him it wouldn’t work without the Internet.

Hour 3 without Internet

The Kitty has come to me, complaining that her wi-fi is down. She must have used up her 3G data allowance. She will not accept that I cannot help her. The entire household is falling apart.

I am watching Captain America. They have an Internet connection. That’s so unfair.

Hour 4 without Internet

I have resorted to the ancient technology of dee-vee-dees. Good thing I’ve kept these things around. Score one for the hoarding tendencies!

Hour 5

The Internet is back! Praise Jove, Zeus, Odin and all the others! If there is a god of technology, I shall build a shrine to her.